What Do You Do When Your Church Won’t Change?

I don’t have all the answers. But I do know this: church isn’t what it’s supposed to be, and we’re missing the mark.

I’ve reached a point where I can’t just go along with things the way they are. I love Jesus. I love His people. But I can’t keep doing “church as usual.” And I know I’m not alone.

So what do you do when your church refuses to change? When leadership digs in instead of listening? When programs replace true discipleship? When structure stifles the Spirit?

The Options We Face

Most people in this situation end up with one of a few choices:

  1. Stay and submit – even when you know something is off. Maybe you hope you can make a difference. Maybe you feel called to be a light in the darkness. But how long can you stay when nothing changes?
  2. Find another congregation – but what happens when you experience the same thing there? The same traditions, the same power struggles, the same resistance to real discipleship?
  3. Start something new – maybe a home church, an online gathering, or something completely different. But what does that look like?

Am I Powerless as a Woman?

If I were a man, I would have already started a church. But I believe that women should not be pastors. So what does that mean for me? Does that mean I can’t lead in some way? Does that mean I have to wait for someone else to do it?

Or is there another way?

What If Ministry Isn’t About a Title or a Pulpit?

The more I wrestle with these questions, the more I wonder—

  • What if ministry isn’t about holding a position but about being faithful?

  • What if I don’t need a church’s permission to disciple others?

  • What if the Body of Christ could grow beyond church walls and still be the church?

The One Thing I Do Know

Jesus didn’t wait for permission to do what the Father sent Him to do. The early church had no buildings, no programs, no CEOs—and they changed the world.

I don’t know exactly what the answer is. But I do know this: we can’t keep doing what we’ve been doing and expect different results.

So now I’m asking—what do we do?

How do we step into the kind of faith that doesn’t rely on the church system to function? How do we live out true discipleship when our churches won’t change?

If you’re wrestling with this too, let’s search for answers together.

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